The Gray-Haired Knitting Detective Series: (Books 1 - 3) Read online

  THE GRAY-HAIRED KNITTING DETECTIVES

  BOOKS 1 - 3

  By D.E. HAGGERTY

  Copyright © 2015 D.E. Haggerty

  All rights reserved.

  This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return it and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  The Gray-Haired Knitting Detectives Series boxed set includes the books Murder, Mystery & Dating Mayhem, Jack Gets His Man, and Love in the Time of Murder. All books in the series are works of fiction. Names, characters, and events are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental. The incidents depicted are pure imagination.

  Table of Contents

  MURDER, MYSTERY & DATING MAYHEM

  Chapter 1

  “Middle of the Road” – The Pretenders

  Chapter 2

  "Let’s Get It On" by Marvin Gaye

  Chapter 3

  "Grandma" by Pam Feather

  Chapter 4

  "That’s What Friends are For” by Dionne Warwick

  Chapter 5

  "Bad Moon Rising” by Creedence Clearwater Revival

  Chapter 6

  "Friends Will be Friends” by Queen

  Chapter 7

  "Lightening Crashes” by Live

  Chapter 8

  "Tears in Heaven” by Eric Clapton

  Chapter 9

  "Listen” by Beyoncé

  Chapter 10

  "Call the Police” by James Morrison

  Chapter 11

  "With a Little Help from my Friends” by Joe Cocker

  Chapter 12

  "Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves

  Chapter 13

  "I Fought the Law” by The Clash

  Chapter 14

  "Please Read The Letter” by Robert Plant

  Chapter 15

  "Dream Weaver” by Gary Wright

  Chapter 16

  "Price Tag” by Jesse J

  Chapter 17

  "I Knew You were Trouble” by Taylor Swift

  Chapter 18

  "Land of Confusion” by Genesis

  Chapter 19

  "Building a Mystery” by Sarah McLachlan

  Chapter 20

  "I’ve been Searching” by Chicago

  Chapter 21

  "Ice Cream” by Sarah McClachlan

  Chapter 22

  "Contagious” by Avril Lavigne

  Chapter 23

  "Bleeding Love” by Leona Lewis

  Chapter 24

  "I Never Knew You” by Jason Mraz

  Chapter 25

  "I’m a Mess” by Ed Sheeran

  Chapter 26

  "I’ll be Your Man” by James Blunt

  Chapter 27

  "Barbie Girl” by Aqua

  Chapter 28

  "I Can’t Drive 55” by Sammy Hagar

  Chapter 29

  "Don´t Tell Me What To Do” by Pam Tillis

  Chapter 30

  "Do You Want to Know a Secret?” by The Beatles

  Chapter 31

  "Thieves in the Temple” by Prince

  Chapter 32

  "Enter Sandman” by Metallica

  Chapter 33

  "Why Can’t This Be Love” by Van Halen

  Chapter 34

  “Guilty” by Joe Cocker

  Chapter 35

  “The End” by The Doors

  Epilogue

  "Happy” by Natasha Bedingfield

  JACK GETS HIS MAN

  Chapter 1

  Oh babe, you can kick my ass anytime

  Chapter 2

  A hard-on wasn’t a turn-on

  Chapter 3

  I could really use some eye candy

  Chapter 4

  Don’t disappoint us

  Chapter 5

  What kind of name is Fred for a woman?

  Chapter 6

  I want to scream like a little girl and go hide

  Chapter 7

  Hot! He’s hot

  Chapter 8

  Just spit it out

  Chapter 9

  No office quickie?

  Chapter 10

  Wannabes my ass

  Chapter 11

  To tuck certain assets away

  Chapter 12

  It is what it is

  Chapter 13

  We need to do a recon mission

  Chapter 14

  Noel’s-mowing-without-a-T-shirt-on-phone tree

  Chapter 15

  Mr. Hot and Delicious Cop would be a great distraction

  Chapter 16

  They were going to get it now

  Chapter 17

  Sex was never the problem

  Chapter 18

  Well, crap

  Chapter 19

  I’m an idiot

  Chapter 20

  What do we do now?

  Chapter 21

  No hanky-panky!

  Chapter 22

  Don’t know if I want to go there

  Chapter 23

  No sense poking the bear

  Chapter 24

  Gather the troops

  Chapter 25

  Let’s get this party started

  Chapter 26

  Another recon mission

  Chapter 27

  Would we do something stupid?

  Chapter 28

  What’s your big idea?

  Chapter 29

  The drama train was chugging along

  Chapter 30

  It’s too late

  Chapter 31

  Chances were it was dangerous

  Chapter 32

  Fucking’s right

  Chapter 33

  Oh, it’s a problem alright

  Chapter 34

  It’s all really simple

  Chapter 35

  What the fuck do you know about it?

  Chapter 36

  My boobs are sore

  Chapter 37

  Another one bites the dust

  LOVE IN THE TIME OF MURDER

  Chapter 1

  “Sometimes I feel my whole life has been one big rejection.” Marilyn Monroe

  Chapter 2

  “Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim.” Robert Frost

  Chapter 3

  “There are no strangers here; only friends you haven’t met yet.” William Butler Yeats

  Chapter 4

  “... the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” Eleanor Roosevelt

  Chapter 5

  “Pity is just another form of abuse.” Michael J. Fox

  Chapter 6

  “…[a] woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself...” Susan B. Anthony

  Chapter 7

  “The one thing that can solve most of our problems is dancing.” James Brown

  Chapter 8

  “If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.” John Churton Collins

  Chapter 9

  “And the Queen... she reminds me of my grandma.” will.i.am

  Chapter 10

  “A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.” Eleanor Roosevelt

  Chapter 11

  “There is nothing I would not do for those who are
really my friends.” Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

  Chapter 12

  “Honey, a girl can’t keep a man like that as a friend. He’s a lover or an ex-lover, but never a friend.” Nicole Williams, Crash

  Chapter 13

  “Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.” Ambrose Bierce

  Chapter 14

  “You want to believe that there's one relationship in life that's beyond betrayal. A relationship that's beyond that kind of hurt. And there isn't.” Caleb Carr

  Chapter 15

  “Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” Dr. Seuss

  Chapter 16

  “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

  Chapter 17

  “Reality continues to ruin my life.” Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

  Chapter 18

  “Death ends a life, not a relationship.” Mitch Albom

  Chapter 19

  “It is not possible to go forward while looking back.” Ludwig Mies van der Rohe

  Chapter 20

  “But better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.” Khaled Hosseini

  Chapter 21

  “A photograph is usually looked at - seldom looked into.” Ansel Adams

  Chapter 22

  “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Thomas A. Edison

  Chapter 23

  “Money's a horrid thing to follow, but a charming thing to meet.” Henry James

  Chapter 24

  “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” Gloria Steinem

  Chapter 25

  “A flood of emotions rushes into me. Pain and anger. Sadness and pity. But most surprising of all, hope.” Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why

  Chapter 26

  “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” Dr. Seuss

  Chapter 27

  “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.” Douglas Adams

  Chapter 28

  “If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

  Chapter 29

  “What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it.” Maya Angelou, Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now

  Chapter 30

  “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” Dr. Seuss

  Chapter 31

  “The truth is rarely pure and never simple.” Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

  Chapter 32

  “You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” Dr. Seuss

  Thanks!

  MURDER, MYSTERY & DATING MAYHEM

  By D.E. HAGGERTY

  Copyright © 2015 D.E. Haggerty

  All rights reserved.

  This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return it and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Murder, Mystery & Dating Mayhem is a work of fiction. Names, characters, and events are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental. The incidents depicted are pure imagination.

  Dedication

  To all the women who have survived turning 40 and managed to come out on the other side unscathed or perhaps just a tiny bit scathed, but all the stronger for it

  Chapter 1

  “Middle of the Road” – The Pretenders

  “Ugh!” I shout at the mirror and throw my eyebrow tweezers at it. Expecting a loud thunk but only getting a little ping instead, annoys me further. Growing old sucks balls and not just any balls – big, hairy, sweaty balls. I can handle the wrinkles. Everyone gets wrinkles. I can even handle the gray hair. After all, it can look dignified or, more likely, be dyed back to its original color when all else fails. But dark hairs on my chin? That’s where I draw the line.

  I hear a laugh behind me and look to see Jack staring at me with mirth in his eyes. I should have never given the man a key to my house. Jack is my BFF and has been since the first day of middle school. Some kid called me metal mouth and before I had a chance to smack him, which I totally would have, Jack came to my rescue. We’ve been inseparable ever since. When Jack came out to his parents, I was the one standing next to him holding his hand. He slept on the floor of my bedroom at my parents’ house for a month until his own calmed down.

  Just because Jack is my BFF doesn’t mean I don’t get embarrassed when he catches me trying to rid myself of evidence that I am aging and much faster than him at that. Jack’s my age, but he looks at least a decade younger. Life is so freaking unfair!

  “Put down your weapons,” Jack says and raises his hands in surrender.

  “Ha, flipping ha,” I mutter. I narrow my eyes when I catch sight of a pink flyer in his hands. Oh no. My BFF is the king of harebrained schemes, and a pink flyer can only mean bad news. I start to back away but have nowhere to go in my tiny bathroom.

  Jack smiles and starts stalking me like a predator. He waves the flyer at me. He actually bounces on his toes in excitement. “I signed you up for speed dating!” Speed dating? Also known as – how can I embarrass myself over and over in a single evening?

  I stop moving backward, cross my arms across my chest and plant my feet. “You did what!” I may have shrieked.

  Jack’s smile turns into a smirk.

  “I’m not going,” I announce and try to push past him.

  Jack is having none of that. He grips my elbow, stopping me. “Oh yes you are missy! You’re going or I’m going to tell everyone about your little chin hair problem.”

  I gasp. “You wouldn’t!” He doesn’t respond but continues to smirk at me. Shoot, he totally would. The little creep! I drop my face into my hands and whine. “Why? Why are you doing this to me?”

  Jack throws his head back and laughs. “Seriously?” He raises one eyebrow at me. “You need to get laid woman!”

  It’s annoying how Jack is almost always right. I do indeed need to get laid. I recently turned forty, and I’ve been a widow for almost five years. I’ve tried getting back in the game a few times, but I’m just not that interested. Okay, I lie. I’m totally interested, but the dates I’ve suffered through since losing my husband were disasters of such epic proportions, I gave up.

  I blame myself. I have no idea how to date. Ryan, my late husband, was my first and only boyfriend, and then I married him. We met in college and it’s not like dating is something you do in college, or at least I didn’t. Ryan and I just hung out together watching movies and having drinks at the bar with other friends. At some point, he started calling me his girlfriend and that was that. We married straight out of college and then he died when I was thirty-five. Going on your first date at the age of thirty-six is not fun, let me tell you. I’m awkward at the best of times. On a date, when I’m nervous, I’m a downright disaster. Speed dating can’t be any worse, I guess.

  “Fine,” I groan. “When is it?”

  “Tonight.” He mutters and then starts to back out of the room before turning tail and full-out running away.

  “What?” I shout as I chase after him. I catch up to him and grab the flyer. He’s got some nerve. And then a brilliant idea hits me. I cross my arms and go on the attack. “If I have to go, then you’re going with me.”

  Jack’s laughter immediately stops. It’s his turn to cross his arms. He looks down from his six-foot-three-inch towering height
and raises an eyebrow at me. “And, pray tell, who am I going to meet at this affair?” In case I miss his meaning, he adds a whole lot of diva to his voice.

  “I don’t care,” I shrug. “But I’m not going alone and that’s final.”

  “Fine,” Jack huffs and stalks off. “I’ll pick you up at 6,” he yells through the screen door.

  Three hours later I’ve managed to rid my chin of any hairy evidence and cleaned myself up reasonably well. Since I don’t usually wear make-up, I suck, like majorly, at putting it on, but the bags under my eyes aren’t going to disappear on their own. Puffy eyes are testimony of an afternoon spent staring at my computer screen working on Jack’s website. As a freelance graphic designer, I have to grab every assignment that I can. But even if I didn’t need to take every job that comes my way, this is Jack we’re talking about. I’d do anything for the man – even humiliate myself at a speed dating event – and he knows it.

  I put down the eyeliner pencil and have a look at the results. For a middle-aged woman, I don’t look entirely unfortunate. Even though I workout like the devil possessed, I’m slightly overweight but at a height of five-eight, I can carry a bit of extra weight. Fortunately, for me, most of my weight falls into the tits and ass categories. My hair is curly, brown, and currently long. I hope my long eyelashes and sparkly green eyes distract from the wrinkles around my eyes.

  The doorbell rings and halts my perusal of my looks. I grab my bag and jacket from the bed and head to the front door. Jack’s already standing inside. He only rang the doorbell to make sure I got a move on.

  “Damn girl, you look hot!” He exclaims as I reach up on tippy toes to kiss his cheek.

  “You know,” I say as we head out the door to Jack’s car. “If you just played for the other team, we could get together and wouldn’t have to do the stupid speed dating thing.”

  Jack laughs as he opens his car door for me. “We tried that, remember?”

  Why does Jack have to remind me? At the start of high school, I forced Jack to take me to the homecoming dance. Even though he had yet to come out, he was already pretty comfortable with being gay, but I had convinced myself I was in love with my best friend. After the dance, I kissed him on the mouth. His reaction? He yelled “yuck!” and wiped his mouth. It took a month of schmoozing before I would talk to the handsome, gay guy again.

  Chapter 2

  "Let’s Get It On" by Marvin Gaye