Never Trust a Skinny Cupcake Baker (Death by Cupcake Book 1) Read online

  I glare at Anna as I grab my towel, and we join the other torture sufferers to leave the den of iniquity. I hear someone shout “Hey, Dr. Muller!” and turn to see one of my students waving at me. “I didn’t know you came here,” she continues to shout.

  I move out of the way and wait for the student to reach me. I have no idea what her name is. I teach Intro to World Lit at the University. It’s one of those required classes taught in an auditorium to a bunch of bored freshmen. It’s pure hell and part of the dues I’m required to pay if I ever want to have more than an adjunct professor position at the University.

  I smile at the young woman in front of me who is somehow not dripping with sweat. Ah, to be young. “How are you…er?”

  “Jennifer,” she fills in for me. We start walking towards the locker rooms together. “I just wanted to say how much I loved your class.”

  I stop and stare at her. “My class? You mean Intro to World Lit?” No one likes my class. It’s a rite of passage, nothing more, nothing less.

  Jennifer bobs up and down in excitement. “You’re teaching Intro to German Lit next semester, right?” I nod, and she sighs in relief. “Awesome! I can’t wait.” I start to push the locker room door open while Jennifer waves to a friend in the fitness area. “Gotta get my run on. See you in class!”

  “Awesome! I can’t wait,” I hear someone mimic Jennifer’s excitement in a sarcastic voice. I don’t have to turn around to know it’s Dolly, the not-so-wunderinstructor. I ignore her and walk into the locker room. I can hear her laugh – or is it a cackle? – outside in the hallway.

  I find Anna and immediately attack. “I’m never coming back here.”

  Anna looks up at me. “Yeah, I know,” she says in defeat.

  Now I feel bad, but there’s no way Anna is going to guilt me into coming back. I’ll have to think of some creative way to make sure she gets her money back because there’s no freaking way she’ll take the money from me. Pixies are incredibly stubborn.

  Chapter 3

  My Diet Plan: Make all of my friends cupcakes: the fatter they get, the thinner I’ll look…

  I’m filling the display cases the next morning when Ben comes charging in. “Where were you last night?” His usually gentle face looks anything but gentle at the moment.

  “Last night?” I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion at him. “When? What?”

  Ben sighs and the stoniness of his face soothes out until he’s once more my gentle giant. “I came by to walk you home, but you weren’t here.”

  “Oh,” I sigh as the light bulb goes off in my head. Ben often walks me home, although ‘walking’ is a bit of misnomer since I live above the bakery. I only have to go out the back door and then walk a few steps in the alley to get to my apartment door. It’s a bit strange that there’s no way to go from the bakery to the apartment upstairs without going outside. The former owner and my own personal fairy godmother, Gretchen, told me that there had been a massive fight between her grandparents when her grandmother discovered her grandfather flirting with some customers. They didn’t believe in divorce, but Gretchen’s grandma wanted nothing to do with her husband even though she was living above the bakery and he was running it. Thus, the weird commute home for me each evening.

  “I think I can manage to walk the five steps from the bakery to my apartment, Ben.” I don’t know why I bother. It’s not like I ever asked Ben to walk me home. He just started showing up at closing time one day to make sure I got home safe. He even added more lights to the back door. He’s been pushing me about a security system as well, but that’s not in the budget.

  Ben rubs a hand over his face and grunts. “I need to know you’re home safe.”

  My heart melts a little at that. “I can take care of myself, Ben.”

  He nods. “I know that, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to take care of you.” His phone dings with a message, and he immediately grabs it from his pocket. “Sorry,” he mumbles as he unlocks his phone. “I need to go,” he says after reading the message.

  From the corner of my eye I see the pole dancing tramp known as Dolly walk in the bakery. Oh great. I see her eye Ben up and down. If I’m not mistaken, she actually licks her lips. Then she reaches into her sweater and adjusts the goods, although what needs adjusting is completely beyond me. She saunters up to Ben, but he doesn’t even bother to look her way. She scowls a bit before smoothing out her face and placing a hand on his arm. I start to seethe, but Ben merely moves out of the way without even glancing in her direction.

  “I’ll see you tonight, sweetheart,” he says as he puts his phone away. He winks at me before walking away. I don’t think he even noticed Dolly. She stomps up to the counter and glares at me. I just shrug my shoulders. What is there to say?

  “Figures a fatty like you would work at a bakery.” She’s seething.

  I cross my arms over my chest. “Wow. That the best you can come up with?”

  She leans in. “Not so special now are you Dr. Muller.”

  I can’t help but giggle at that. “Special enough for you to remember my name.”

  Anna sashays over to me and glares at Dolly. “And she doesn’t work here! She owns the place!” I shake my head at her. I don’t think she’s helping at all.

  Dolly looks me up and down. “I guess that explains your physique.”

  Anna stomps her foot and glares at Dolly. “Her physique? Look, you little...” That’s when I move and place my hand over Anna’s mouth before she can start swearing up a storm.

  I plaster a fake smile on my face while wrestling with Anna. She may be tiny, but she’s strong as all get out. “What can I do for you, Dolly?” As far as I’m concerned, I’ve already won this round. I’m not going to think about how happy it makes me that Ben ignored her. Not. Going. To. Think. About. It. And I totally didn’t sigh at that thought. Nope, not I.

  Dolly huffs like just being in the bakery is a hardship for her. “What kind of low-fat, low-carb goods do you have?”

  I snort at that. How can a cupcake bakery possible have anything low-carb? Does she even understand what carbs are? And low-fat? What fun is a cupcake without the fat? I stare at her a second too long, and Anna answers on my behalf.

  “We have carrot cupcakes.” She wrestles out of my hold and moves to the display case where she pulls out a carrot cupcake, which I know has about a zillion calories as it’s full of sugar and oil. And then there’s the cream cheese icing. There is absolutely nothing healthy about the icing. Butter, cheese, and sugar are a confectioner’s trifecta.

  Dolly stares at the cupcake as if it has devil’s horns. “That doesn’t look very healthy.”

  I refuse to answer. Anna started this mess, she can finish it. “It’s filled with carrots. Totally low-carb.” She doesn’t give Dolly a chance to respond and places the cupcake in one of the Callie’s Cakes single cupcake boxes. “On the house. Give a try.” She shoves the box into Dolly’s hand and then puts her hands on her hips as if challenging her to refuse the gift.

  “Well…thanks, I guess,” Dolly says after a while. She starts to leave the bakery but then turns around to wink at Anna. “I’ll see you in class tomorrow.” She looks at me and grimaces. “You’re welcome to come without your friend.” She looks me up and down. “It’s not like Dr. Muller can handle the pole anyway.” With that she turns and leaves the bakery before Anna or I can respond.

  Oh bugger. I can’t resist a challenge. Now I’m going to have to continue those stupid pole dancing classes. Anna turns to me with a huge smile on her face. I roll my eyes at her. “Don’t say it.”

  Chapter 4

  That awkward moment when you’re wearing Nikes and you can’t Just Do It.

  I’m just turning the bakery sign to Closed the next day when Ben shows up. I quickly unlock the front door and let him in. Darn my heart. It’s relieved to see him. He didn’t stop by this morning, and I missed him. Not that I’ll admit that out loud or anything.

  “Hey, sweetheart,” he whis
pers and bends to kiss my forehead. That’s new. He’s never gotten his lips near me before. Not that I mind. I take a deep breath to prevent a sigh from escaping. “Ready to go home?”

  I shake my head. “Actually, I’m off to class.”

  “Class? I didn’t realize the semester started already.” Sweet, sweet Ben is well aware of my University classes as he has appointed himself as my unofficial get-home-safe guard.

  “Not that class. Fitness class.” I clarify.

  “We’re doing a pole dancing class,” Anna shouts. I jump. I didn’t hear the little sprite creep in.

  Ben smiles slowly and his eyes sparkle. “Pole dancing, huh?” His voice sounds husky.

  “It was Anna’s idea,” I squeak.

  Ben reaches forward and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. He leans down and whispers, “This definitely has possibilities.”

  I’m melting. I’m going to be a puddle of goo on the floor if this continues. I take a deep breath and step away from the heat that is Ben. “We’d better get going.” I reach down to grab my gym bag, which I set on the floor when I locked the front door. Before I can get anywhere near it, Ben grasps the bag and throws it over his shoulder. He motions me forward with his hand. “After you.”

  “Don’t you need to get back to work?”

  Ben chuckles. “Nope. Lunch break. I’ll escort you ladies to your class.”

  We walk through the kitchen and out the back door. Ben takes my keys from me and locks up. When he gives me the keys back, he grabs my hand. Anna’s already several footsteps ahead. Traitor. I try to take my hand back, but Ben’s not letting up. As we walk, he leans down and whispers in my ear. “I wasn’t sure how you felt, but then you got jealous yesterday when that woman touched my arm. Now I know you’re interested. You’re just scared.” I try to respond, but Ben plows forth. “And now it’s time to step things up. I’ve waited a year. I’ll continue to wait, but I’m not going to make it easy for you.”

  We’ve reached the fitness studio by the time Ben finishes his little speech. I turn to respond, and he leans down and gently sips from my lips. He hands me my gym bag, winks, and then turns and walks away while I’m still standing there shocked speechless. Anna sighs beside me. “About time.”

  I ignore her and stomp into the gym. I’m all hot and tingly and that makes me annoyed for some reason. I hear Anna grunt, but she follows me into the gym and to the locker room. I open my gym bag and squeak. What the…? These are not the gym clothes I packed in my bag this morning. “Anna,” I growl.

  “What’s up?” Her face is the picture of innocence. I narrow my eyes at her and wait her out. She huffs. “Fine, I changed the clothes in your gym bag. To be fair, the clothes you had in there weren’t gym clothes. They were ‘fat clothes’ for sitting on the sofa drowning in Ben & Jerry’s and being depressed.” She scrunches her nose at me. “We’re here to make you feel sexy. Whatever you packed in that bag was going to make you feel about as sexy as a rat on a sinking ship.”

  I pull the brand-spanking-new sportswear out of my bag, and my heart nearly stops. There’s no way there’s enough material in here to fit around my body. I don’t care how stretchy it is. It’s a good thing the engineer who invented spandex in the fifties is long gone from this earth. It’s hard to wreak vengeance on someone who is no longer in the land of the living. I start to complain to Anna again, but she’s already dressed and on her way out of the locker room. Sneaky.

  There’s nothing for it. I force myself into the new clothes. Darn, I have to admit the outfit looks a whole heck of a lot better than my ratty old sweats and t-shirt which may or may not have a hole in the armpit. I move to the mirror and twirl. I smile. Not bad, if I do say so myself. I shut my locker and head towards the stripper room … er … pole dancing classroom.

  I notice something wrong the moment I walk into the studio. Anna’s staring down at the ground, and I think I hear her sniffling. Shoot. I hope I didn’t hurt her feelings. I walk over to her, place a hand on her arm, and squeeze. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be such a butthead.”

  She shakes her head. “It’s not that,” she whispers.

  “What is it, then?” Why am I whispering as well?

  Anna raises her head and watches as Dolly exits the room. She visibly relaxes. She pulls me closer, and I lean down for her to whisper in my ear. “Dolly hit on me.”

  I giggle. Well, that’s not so bad. “Well, babe, you’re hot.” Anna may be tiny, but that doesn’t make her any less beautiful. She looks more like a porcelain doll than a pixie – even with the pink hair. She has beautiful blues eyes that seem enormous on her face, a pert nose, naturally rosy cheeks with high cheekbones, and a luscious mouth. And her skin is absolutely perfect. I can’t remember ever seeing a pimple on her. I shrug. “What’s the big deal?”

  “It was how she did it and what she said.” Anna cringes. “She made me feel slimy.”

  I don’t have time to respond as Dolly has returned to the room and the music is turned on. This time Cherry Pie blares through the speakers. I quickly squeeze Anna’s hand before moving to my pole.

  “Okay, sluts, let’s get started,” Dolly says and then looks directly at me. “Some of us have more work to do than others.” She cringes in an overly dramatic way. “Although how you can get fat from eating those disgusting cupcakes, I have no idea.” The entire class swivels their heads to look at me. My face is on fire. “I tried her carrot cupcake.” She shivers in mock disgust. “Gross. Just gross.”

  That’s it. I’m making a complaint about this jerk face as soon as class is over. I’m fuming for the entire forty-five minutes of the class. I don’t even notice how difficult or drained I’m feeling. I’m that mad. As soon as the music is cut off, I’m out of there. I don’t even wait for Anna. I march straight to the manager’s office.

  I knock loudly on the open door, but I don’t wait for the woman at the desk to answer me. I barge in as if I own the place. I even close the door behind me as if I have the right to do so. “I’d like to make a complaint,” I state without further ado.

  The woman, the manager I presume, sighs and motions for me to take a seat. “What’s Dolly done now?”

  I rear back. “You get more complaints about her?” She nods. I raise my eyebrows. “Why do you keep her on staff then?”

  The woman, her name tag says she’s Janet, leans forward. “Pole dancing is really popular now. All the classes fill up.” She shrugs. “There’s no one else to teach the class.”

  I collapse against the back of the chair. “What about some type of sensitivity class?”

  Janet actually laughs. “I’ve tried. She won’t go. She tells me to fire her, but I can’t. The gym survives on the fees from classes, and her classes are the most popular.”

  I snort. “But does anyone ever come back?”

  “You’d be surprised.” Yeah, I would. There’s no way on this green Earth that I’d willingly take another class with Dolly. Janet straightens her back and gets down to business. “So, what’s she done now?”

  “She constantly makes derogatory comments about the heavier women in class.” I don’t add that most comments are directed at me. “And today she slandered my bakery.”

  “Your bakery?”

  I nod. “Yeah, I own Callie’s Cakes. I’m Callie actually.” I realize I haven’t introduced myself and reach forward to extend my arm to shake her hand. “Sorry, I’m a little flustered.”

  Janet laughs. “Dolly will do that to you.”

  Before we can continue, there’s a commotion in the hallway, and Dolly flings the door open before stomping in. What in the world?

  Janet stands, her face has turned to stone. She may have no choice about keeping Dolly in her employ, but it’s pretty obvious that she doesn’t like it or her. “Dolly, you can’t just come rushing in here when I’m talking to a client.”

  Dolly looks down at me and sneers. “That client,” she points at me, “is the reason I’m here. She keyed my car.”


  “What?” I sputter. “I didn’t key your stupid car. I don’t even know which car is yours. And I’ve been in here talking to Janet since class ended.”

  Dolly crosses her arms over her impressive chest. “Then, you must have keyed it before class.”

  “Please, I had more important things to do before class than keying your car. I run a business, remember?” But it’s not my bakery I’m thinking about. I’m thinking about Ben’s soft lips touching mine before he left me dazed and confused at the entrance to the gym while Anna smirked at me. Oh shoot. I know who keyed Dolly’s car. It must have been Anna. It’s just the kind of thing she’d do. She was pretty upset about Dolly hitting on her after all.

  Janet speaks and brings my attention back to the room. “I’m sure Callie didn’t key your car. We have security cameras. We’ll take a look at them.” She glares at Dolly. “But you need to wait until I finish with Callie’s complaint.”

  “Callie’s complaint?” Dolly shouts. “What’s the whale complaining about?”

  Janet’s face turns a shade of red I’ve never seen before. Not even in the unnatural red of Anna’s red velvet cupcakes. She points at the door. “Get out! Before I change my mind and fire you.”

  Dolly huffs, but she’s actually smart enough to leave. Janet collapses in her chair and covers her face with her hands. The poor woman. I can’t actually make a complaint about Dolly now. No matter how well deserved it would be. Janet knows what’s going on and she’s stuck. My complaint will only make the situation more difficult for her. I’ll just skip the rest of the lessons. Not like I wanted to do a pole dancing class anyway.

  Chapter 5

  A balanced diet is a cupcake in each hand.

  A few days later, I’m at the bakery early like usual. Anna’s in the kitchen baking bread and I’m in my office. Anna is actually the genius baker behind Callie’s Cakes. I keep trying to make her part-owner because she totally deserves it. Without her, Callie’s Cakes would never have made it in the year after Gretchen died and left the place to me. Sure, I had great business ideas about remodeling and attracting students into the place, but it would mean nothing without Anna’s bakery brilliance.